Why can't I stop crying since I've quit smoking?

Intense, non-stop crying can be a sign of depression, which is also a nicotine withdrawal symptom. It can also be a sign that you need to learn how to deal with your emotional connection to smoking. Most likely it is a combination of both.

Not only is quitting smoking a physical journey but it is an emotional one too. Often quitters under estimate the strength of that emotional connection. Smoking offers the illusion of being able to go through life with the least amount of pain and the greatest amount of pleasure because it enhances positive emotions like pleasure and happiness and suppresses negative emotions such as stress, anger, sadness and loneliness.

My last challenge to ending my relationship with cigarettes was learning how to deal with anger without smoking.

I had been quit for about three months when I got into a fight with my father. I had never been so angry at him before. He was an alcoholic and a prolific drunk dialer. He had been a  real estate broker for most of his life and I was now selling real estate. I'm sure in his mind he thought he was being helpful when he decided to drunk dial the manager of the office I was working at and identify himself as "Santa Claus". Lucky for me his call was intercepted by a sympathetic secretary.

I blew up and headed straight for my local convenience store and bought a pack of my favorite cigarettes - Marlboro 100's. I wasn't kidding myself about only going to smoke "just one", I knew I was going to chain smoke the whole pack and I did.  As I smoked each cigarette what I was really doing was "smoking at" my father and suppressing my anger.

This relapse only lasted a few weeks. After having cancer I knew it was stupid of me to go back to smoking. I had been trying so hard for so many years to quit, that I made the decision that no matter what I was not going to smoke ever again. That meant I had to learn how to deal with not only my anger but all of my emotions.

Almost all smokers start as teenagers, so at an early age we learn to associate smoking with emotions. They help us celebrate the good times and commiserate during the bad. No wonder it feels like we are losing our best friend when we quit.

There are four ways of dealing with emotions: express, suppress, escape and release. With anger I needed to learn how to release it in a healthy manner without smoking, instead of using nicotine to suppress it. I did have help with this from a professional therapist who I had been seeing to deal with the stress of going through cancer treatment.

The best place to start is to talk with your doctor about cessation medication to lessen the withdrawal symptoms. The use of bupropion, which is an anti-depressant, may be a suitable choice. It can also be used in combination with nicotine replacement products. Next, if professional therapy is not an option, join a support group such as nicotine anonymous, or on an online group such BecomeAnEx.org. It helps to share your emotional journey with others who can relate how they are dealing with the same issues.

Realize that smoking has been numbing you to the full range of the emotions of life and without smoking you are just beginning to experience the richness of life. Nicotine is not a best friend but a saboteur and an enemy who doesn't want the best for you but only wants your money.

The ultimate way to increase your willpower to stop smoking forever

Zelda became fast friends with Mary another smoker when they both became members of the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE).  CORE is a civil rights organization which helped organize the March on Washington and ended with Martin Luther King giving his famous "I have a dream" speech. 

After smoking for 30 years Zelda and Mary decided to quit together. While it was difficult, Mary was successful but Zelda was not. Like many smokers, over the years she tried many times to quit but her willpower was not stronger than the temptation to smoke. 

Years later they met up again at conference and Mary said, "Why are you still smoking?"

Zelda didn't have a good answer but Mary's words haunted her for the next few days. When she drove Mary to the airport, Zelda turned to her and said, "If I ever smoke again, I'll write a check for $5000 to the Klu Klux Klan."

She quit cold turkey right then and every time she was tempted to smoke a cigarette, she thought of writing that check to the KKK which was such an abhorrent thought that she never smoked again.
Click here to hear Zelda's story

Zelda gave herself no way out of this deal. This type of action is called a "pre-commitment" which involves making a binding agreement with a huge cost if a temptation is acted upon. Neuroimaging studies on the brain are now showing how pre-commitment is different than willpower and uses different parts of the brain. Click here to read about it.

As any smoker who has tried to quit knows, using willpower alone makes it almost impossible to resist temptation when it pops up. Even with the best of intentions and having good reasons to quit, the long term benefits of becoming smoke-free are not strong enough to overcome that immediate pleasure of smoking a cigarette. Willpower breaks down when an immediate temptation creates that strong impulse or craving to act now by smoking.

Using a functional MRI, we can now see how pre-commitment can help in staying smoke-free. Our brains have a memory and a smoker's brain may recognize that in past experiences willpower has failed to resist temptation and that failure is repeated when faced with a new temptation. But when a smoker has made a pre-commitment and is tempted to smoke, a different part of the brain is used which eliminates this short term temptation. A pre-commitment, or a binding choice becomes an alternative to willpower.

So the trick is to make a deal with yourself that is so horrible that you will do anything to avoid it and tie that commitment to the act of smoking, like Zelda did by imagining writing a $5000 check to the KKK if she smoked even one cigarette.

What deal will you make with yourself? Make the decision to follow through if you do smoke and stick to it. Give yourself no way out. Making a pre-commitment may be all you need to stay smoke-free forever.

Did a cold turkey sabotage your resolution to quit smoking?

Midnight on New Year's Eve was my favorite time to quit smoking. One particular time stands out. My roommate and I were having a New Year's Eve Party. I rigged a bunch of balloons up in a net to be released at midnight, which is when I smoked my last cigarette. As the balloons dropped and the smoke curled out from my lips, I thought how great it will be to stop smoking. As a cancer survivor, each cigarette only reminded me of my mortality. As I crushed the butt out, I just knew this time would be different, yet I was so wrong.

By 3am, most remaining partiers were smokers. No one noticed as I sat with arms crossed, watching every drag they took and angrily waited for everyone to leave so I could find a pack left behind or even a long butt.  After my big midnight production of quitting, there was no way I was going to smoke around anyone from the party. This quit attempt didn't even last 4 hours, let alone last one week. This time was one of my shorter tries but many times lasted for 3 months and even one time lasted as long as 1 year before I relapsed. My mistake was relying on willpower instead of making a plan.

Maybe you  have found yourself in the same position: wanting to quit but finding it almost impossible.  Yet every ex-smoker will tell you exactly what works and what doesn't work (implying there must be something wrong with you if you tried their final method and it didn't work for you). Statistics say that the average smoker will attempt to quit 6 to 9 times before being successful. The most often used method is "cold turkey."

"I tried everything and nothing works, the patch, gum, hypnosis, and finally I just quit cold turkey."

But what does "cold turkey" really mean? It means relying on willpower alone to quit without any help. But I argue that anyone who is quitting a second time, 3rd, or 4th etc. can't be going "cold turkey" because with each quit attempt, the smoker gains knowledge and different skills that they use on subsequent tries. They are no longer a  "tabula rasa" (blank slate).

With each of my quit attempts, I learned something new:
1. I learned how to deal with the withdrawals without using medications (I pretended I had the flu, drank lots of OJ and stayed in bed until I felt better, about 3 days).
2. I learned what to do with my hands (coffee stirrers from Carl's Jr.), which also worked for driving the car.
3. I learned to not quit when drinking alcohol (like at that New Year's Eve party) and to abstain for a couple of weeks after quitting.
4. I learned one of my weakest moments was being around other smokers. Smoke-free laws weren't in force yet and you could smoke almost everywhere.  When someone around me lit up, I learned how to excuse myself without pointing out that I didn't want to be around them when they were smoking.
5. My final lesson was how to be mad at someone without wanting to smoke AT them and smoke my  anger away.

What I found interesting was even if I relapsed, I had learned something new about my relationship to smoking, so that on the next quit attempt, I didn't have to deal with that aspect again because I had already learned what to do. The hard part was that new stuff would pop up with each quit attempt and it was like starting all over again.

I had to learn many different things before I was finally successful at remaining smoke-free. So my last cigarette was August 19, 1990 and it was a very anti-climatic event. As I put out my last cigarette, I knew this time was different and I would be successful because I had learned how to deal with the physical, behavioral, social and habitual rites associated with the way I smoked and this time I had a plan lasting 1 year on what to do to avoid relapsing.

To say I quit "cold turkey" (even though I used NO medications and it appeared that I just put it out and walked away), is stating an injustice to all the hard work I had done each quit attempt before. Only my very first attempt was "cold turkey", because with every attempt after that, I built on my knowledge until my last quit was an accumulation of skills, behaviors and techniques I had mastered to be successful.

Quitting smoking is like learning calculus: you have to learn how to add and subtract, do your multiplication tables, a little algebra and trig before you're ready for that first calculus class. When you pass the class, you wouldn't say that I know that 1 + 1 = 2 and that is why I passed calculus, yet if you didn't know the basics of math, you would never be successful at that calculus class. Successful quitters are at the end of a journey you are still taking, they have already passed the advanced class, while you may still need to learn some basics.

So if your New Year's Eve resolution was to quit smoking and now after a week, it didn't happen, did you try to learn calculus without learning your multiplication tables? Change your resolution to let this year be the year you start learning the basics of what you need to be successful and develop a personalized plan.  Start by signing up for my blog and I will send you a free PDF copy of "Tips to Win At Quitting". Why not start today?

Relapsing at Superbowl Parties When Trying to Quit Smoking

Superbowl is one of the biggest sports parties of the year and a time when many former smokers will relapse. A huge social event with plenty of food and drink, with cheering and socializing and a slippery slope for those who have quit smoking. A cigarette seems to fit into this party atmosphere and many will rationalize that one won't hurt. But most people underestimate the power of nicotine--You're a Puff Away From A Pack A Day.
But those trying to quit, don't have to forge the party, nor do they need to relapse, what is needed is a game plan to avoid having that first cigarette. Here are some suggestions:
1. Avoid the alcohol which seems to go hand in hand with that cigarette and with each drink, the inhibitions go down.
2. Sit by the non-smokers or when talking with smokers, excuse yourself when they light up. (You don't have to explain that you don't want to be around the cigarette, go refill your soda, grab some low cal veggies, or go to the bathroom-just get away from the temptation).
3. Don't kid yourself that "One Won't Hurt". Instead say, "That's something I used to do, but it's not a part of my life now".
4. If the temptation to smoke becomes overwhelming, excuse yourself and protect your commitment to remain smoke free and leave the party. You don't need to make a big deal about it, quietly slip away or if you need to make an excuse, just tell the host or hostess, that something didn't agree with your stomach.
5. If you do slip, don't awfulize the situation but learn from it. Don't shame yourself into going and buying a pack for yourself but recommitment to becoming a former smokers.
The next Superbowl won't be for another year, but there are other positive social situations like this that will tempt you, and use this as learning experience

Preparation for a Successful New Years Resolution to Quit Smoking

The Great American Smokeout sponsored by the American Cancer Society is next month where smokers are encouraged to quit for just one day, with the idea that the smoker might continue for another day and another day. As a spokesperson for tobacco issues for the local office, I'm often asked by reporters to give smokers one bit of advice to be successful at quitting. I believe that if the smoker focuses on building motivation, having the desire and wanting to quit, is the key factor towards a smoker being successful or not, regardless of which method they choose. Every method will work for some, no method works for everyone. The trick is finding the right combination of behavior modification, medicinal support and successful coping strategies for stress and emotions for each individual smoker. So to be successful doesn't apply to the method of quitting as much as the attitude and motivation of the quitter.
I've always thought that the Thursday before Thanksgiving was a terrible day to ask someone to quit smoking. Holidays are often stressful times in many families. There are additional social activities and the hustle-bustle of all that the holidays entail. I propose that for this year for the Great American Smokeout, that you start building your plan to be successful at quitting smoking for a New Years Resolution. This gives you 6 weeks of preparation, to figure out some methods that will work for you and a chance to practice and fine turn before actually putting them down and walking away.

Take Positive Steps Toward Quitting Smoking

Quitting is a process where we change our behavior one step at a time. Thsi often starts with a statement such as, "I'm not going to smoke in the house anymore." "I"m not going to smoke in my car." or after we quit, we tell ourselves, "I'm not going to smoke ever again."
But our brains are funny sometimes and the unconscious sometimes doesn't hear the word "NOT" because those kind of statments call for negative action or no action and we are hard wired to action or to do something. Try to NOT do something, it is easier to DO something than not do it.
Now look at those same statements: "I'm going to smoke in the house." "I"m going to smoke in my car." or after we quit, we tell ourselves, "I'm going to smoke." If this is what your brain is hearing, it can sabatoge your success.
So instead, turn your statements into positive, action statements of what you will do, not what you won't do.
"I'm going to smoke outside from now on." "I'll be smoke free in my car." "I choose to be smoke free."
When a craving comes up, instead of fighting against it by saying, "I'm not going to smoke, I'm not going to smoke." State what you will do. "I can go for a walk instead of smoking." "I can change the way i think about smoking." "I can do this."
Focus on what you want instead of what you don't want, what you will do and not what you won't do.

First Step Towards Quitting Smoking

Quitting is like a baby learning to walk. First the baby grabs onto the coffee table and holds on, next stands up and immediately falls on their butt and finally takes a first step and falls on butt again. But we would never chastise a baby because they don't take off and start running immediately because we know it is a process and that the baby is learning how to use muscles they have never used before. I started smoking when I was 14, so you're like me, you've been smoking longer than you've been doing almost anything else--smoking is connected to sooooo many things in your life, it is a retraining process. You need to learn to use muscles that you haven't used before. You didn't become a smoker over night. Do you rememer your first cigarette? You probably coughed, felt light headed and maybe sick to your stomach, but you kept at it until it felt normal. It was like learning how to walk with one shoe on and one shoe off, at first it was ackward but in a very short period of time, it felt normal. Now it's a reverse process, like learning how to walk with both shoes on, at first it doesn't seem normal, it feels ackward-its a process of learning how to live without each cigarette, each instance that you smoke, each habit, each emotion. but often we are too hard on ourselves for not quitting overnight or doing it perfectly the first time.
So start the process with becoming conscious of smoking. Maybe your first step could just be to leave your cigarettes in another room instead of on the table next to you, so instead of unconsciously reaching for one and lighting it up, you actually have to think for a minute and go get one. All you need to do to start learning how to walk with both shoes on, is to take one baby step and train yourself step, by step on the road to recovery. Fianlly, make it OK to stumble and fall, just like a baby, be gentle with yourself, it a learning process, a retraining program, believe in progress, not perfection and before you know it, you'll be off and running and be smoke free.

What is the First Step Towards Quitting Smoking?

After building a desire to quit, many smokers get stuck in a love/hate relationship with their cigarettes. They want to quit but they also don't want to give them up just yet. But if you think of this a process and not a one time event, it will make it easier. So the first step is to start to break your connections to your cigarettes. Most smoker smoke unconsciously. The computer in our head registers a trigger that connects in our mind to light up a cigarette and we have done that without even thinking about it--just like we automatically drive a car--we don't think about pushing the gas pedal or hitting the brake--it is automatic. Our brain is conditioned to smoke and does so automatically. So the first step is to become conscious of the cigarettes you are smoking.
This could be something simple like leaving your cigarettes in another room instead of on the table next to you, so instead of unconsciously reaching for one and lighting it up, you actually have to think for a minute and go get one before you can smoke it. you cold leave them in your car, on top of your refrigerator, in the garage, I know of one person who even left them in their mailbox. Maybe it is just logging in on a piece of paper every time you light up--what time is it, what are you doing and how are you feeling.
I believe in progress, not perfection. You didn't become a smoker over night but your brain had to learn how to smoke and what your individual triggers are before you were a full time smoker. Just like when you learned to drive a car, it took a while before it became automatic. Quitting is a relearning process, the first step is to become aware and conscious. You need to know what you are doing if you are to change it.
Quitting is like a baby learning to walk. First the baby grabs onto the coffee table and holds on, next stands up and immediately falls on their butt and finally takes a first step and falls on butt again. But we would never chastise a baby because they don't take off and start running immediately because we know it is a process and that the baby is learning how to use muscles they have never used before. If you are like so many smokers, you started smoking as a teenager, so you've been smoking longer than you've been doing almost anything else--smoking is connected to sooooo many things in your life, it is a retraining process, a learning process with each cigarette, each instance that you smoke, each habit, each emotion. But often we are too hard on ourselves for not stopping in one day.
So start by learning about your smoking habits, one step at a time.

Changing the Way you Think about Cigarettes to Help You Stop Smoking

In a workshop during the time of 9-11, one woman had quit and her husband continued to smoke. She said, "Every time I see his pack of cigarettes, I just think that this is 20 little terrorists trying to kill me."It is important to change the way you think about smoking and cigarettes. Often smokers feel deprived when they quit or that they are losing a best friend. Instead of deprivation or loss, start thinking of what you are gaining, such as better health, smell better, food tastes better, becoming a better role model for you children, providing a healthier environment for your family.For another woman, every time a craving came up, she said to herself, "Oh, that's something I used to do but I don't need cigarettes anymore." As she said this, she imagined the glowing cherry of the cigarette on he sleeve and she brushed it away.Stop thinking of what you are giving up, but how much better your life is without cigarettes being in control.

Exercise As a Way to Stop Smoking

While I have had a couple of aerobic instructors attend my workshops to quit smoking, most smokers would rather go light up another cigarette than hit the gym. Besides, smoking makes it difficult to breathe after running up a flight of stairs, let alone when hitting the stairmaster. Exercise and smoking just don't seem to go together. Yet starting an exercise program can help with the quitting process.
1. Taking a 5 minute walk around your office building instead of a smoke break can help with the withdrawal symptoms of anger, irritability, tension and cravings.
2.Exercise will also help to avoid the weight gain that many smokers face when quitting. Only part of the weight gain is due to a change in metabolism, which two 10 minute walks a day will counter balance.
3. A brisk walk will help clear the tar that has been accumulating in your lungs so don't be concerned if you cough more, think of it as your body healing itself.
4. Getting a little bit sweaty will allow toxins to be released with your sweat.
5. Replace the harmful habit of smoking with a healthy habit of exercise. Find an exercise activity that you enjoy. It's easier to replace a habit than it is to just stop a habit.
6. Meet new friends that don't smoke. Carol used to play cards with her smoking buddies and couldn't seem to stop when around them, so she took up ball room dancing. She met new people who didn't smoke and got some exercise too.
Exercise is the fountain of youth, second only to quitting smoking as the best thing you can do for your health, so replace your cigarettes with something that will increase your health even more-now go take a walk.

Giving Bad Advice to Others When Quitting Smoking

I read a lot of blogs and websites that are written by former smokers that give advice on how they quit smoking. I encourage every smoker to find a way that works for them but often these reformed smokers are giving bad advice that will cause another smoker to fail or relapse, which just increases the sense of shame that a smoker has that there is something wrong with them that they can't quit, when this method worked for someone else.
Bad advise includes:
1. Keep a pack around to show that you are stronger than your addiction.
Most smokers will have a moment of weakness usually when under stress and will rech for that "emergency pack" and believe that "one" won't hurt. but one will always lead to another one and most smokers underestimate how seductive nicotine can be and they will relapse. Instead of having a pack around, know that a cigarette is only as far away as the closest all night convenience store, however, in a moment of weakness, you must get inyour car and drive to the store. This can give you enough time to realize that "just one" isn't worth the effort.
2. Savor the last cigarette and enjoy every moment since it will be your last.
This will only re-enforce what you are giving up instead of what you are gaining. Smokers often feel they are losing a best friend but what they are really losing is a terrorist that is trying to kill them. Instead of a sense of depravation, the quitter should feel gratitude for escaping from a prison where a cigarette controls the smoker.
3. Taper off of cigarettes, smoking less and less each day until one day you aren't smoking any.
Tapering down doesn't work but only keeps the body in a state of withdrawal for a longer period of time. Smokers become accustom to a certain level of nicotine in their body, when deprived, they will adjust their smoking, either inhaling deeper or smoking more of each cigarette. Many smokers can taper down to the 5 to 7 most important ciagrettes of the day and congratulate themselves for only smoking these few but they find it extremely difficult to give up these last few cigarettes. While following some of my suggestions in other posts, many smokers will naturally cut down but that is not the point of the exercise because sooner or later, every smoker needs to go cold turkey--give up smoking all of their cigarettes, instead of just limiting themselves to a few a day.
4. Drinking water doesn't help.
Nicotine is water soluble and drinking more water will help flush the nicotine out of your system and drinking water mimics the same hand to mouth motion as smoking and tricks your subconscious.
When seeking advise, listen with your heart and see what rings true for you. Judge the advise by what feel right to you. Don't listen to someone just because they are a doctor or have a Masters or PhD. they could be wrong too. finding your own path to quitting can be difficult but not impossible and if you try something that doesn't work for you, don't consider yourself a failure, but view this as a learning experience, you are just one step closer to finding out what does work for you.

Making Smoking a Conscious Choice

Have you ever found a cigarette in your mouth and forgot that you had lite up or had a second one in the ashtray? Smoking becomes an unconscious, automatic habit. Most cigarettes are not conscious choices but a reflex. The brain triggers a want, desire or craving for a cigarette and the smoker automatically reaches for one without consciously thinking about it. The brain reflex continues after an individual decides to quit and these wants, desires or cravings become stronger and build on one another, especially during the first few weeks. Becoming aware of when, where and why you are reaching for a cigarette can help develop a successful plan for quitting. Before you light up, start a log of what time you smoke, what are you doing, and how you are feeling. Many of your triggers you know about, but there are many that you are not aware of and after quitting, it seems that these triggers come from out of the blue but actually it only seems that way since they were unconscious triggers that you just weren't aware of but your brain remembers every trigger. Every want, desire, or craving for a smoke is your brain saying, "I always get my nicotine when this (fill in the blank) happens, so I want my nicotine and I want it now!" By knowing your triggers, you can plan for alternatives for each trigger. Have a whole tool box of different strategies to deal with your different triggers and you are more likely to be successful than having just one strategy that only works with some of your triggers.

Classical Conditioning Can Keep You Smoking

Palov was a scientist that discovered that dogs can be conditioned to salivate when they hear a bell rung because the sound had been paired with the presentation of food. The dogs learned that when they hear the bell, they would be fed. This is called classical conditioning. Habit cigarettes are the very same thing. Everything a smoker smokes a cigarette while doing something else, they can become classically conditioned to think of a cigarette every time they do this other activity because it has become paired with smoking--the next time you hear the phone ring, do you want a cigarette? Even if you just had one? Getting into your car, do you need a cigarette first? Habits can be associated with people, places, situations, times, events, objects, and emotions.
This conditioning happens because nictoine goes to a part of the brain that give extra attention to external events. So when you smoke, you are more aware of what is happening at the same time. if you do the same thing many times while smoking the brain now expects to receive nicotine when you do this activity again, every time.
Smokers often think that these habit cigarettes are the harder to give up but the opposite is true. If you smoke every time you answer the phone and this happens 5 times a day, when you quit, 5 times each day you will "crave" the cigarette, so it seems like you are thinking about cigarettes all the time, but what this means is that you get to practice not having a cigarette 5 times each day also. In a very short period of time, you brain extinguishes the connection between the phone and the cigarette. Pavlov also proved this theory too, it is called extinction.
The urge for habit cigarettes falls away within 2 to 3 weeks. When the conditioning is extinguished, most smokers will feel like a non-smoker and believe that they have beat Kid Nicotine but not all conditioning is extinguished and the smoker needs to be aware of the "out-of-the-blue" craving. Often this is a habit cigarette that is paired to an activity that you don't do very often, maybe only once or twice a year, yet your brain still remembers this connection. You need an emergency plan for when those "out-of-the-blue" craving pop up.

Powerful Technique to Stop Smoking

When we exchange our cigarettes for freedom from tobacco, often we feel deprived. I remember it was a few years after I quit and a craving seemed to overwhelm me with the thought, "How dare they take my cigarettes away from me!" I didn't know who "they" were and it only took a minute to realize what a crazy thought this was, but it shows the seductive power that nicotine can have over us. When we quit, it feels like losing a best friend--one that has been there through everything-the first job, the first boyfriend, the breakup, college, unemployment, the wedding, the divorce, through the good times and the bad, cigarettes never talked back, always gave us the comfort we were seeking and only asked for our future health in return.
A powerful technique for letting go is to write a goodbye letter to your cigarettes detailing what they have meant to you, as well as what they are doing to you. Tell them that you are finally able to handle life and all of it's ups and downs without them. Keep this letter and reread it when nicotine is trying to seduce you back into it's unhealthy ways. Send me a copy, I would love to read it.

Appreciation for Quitting Smoking

I have been helping smokers become smoke free since 1990 and I love receiving letters like the following. It makes it all worth while:

Dear V.J.,

Just needed to drop you a note and thank you for your support and guidance to help me stop smoking. I am "smoke free" since June 8, 2002. Sometimes I still here your voice in my head saying "Remember, you are only a puff away from a pack a day" so I have not even had a single puff since June 7, 2002. Thank you so much for taking my calls early in the morning when I wanted to smoke so badly and giving me tips on how I could get through that moment. Of course chewing on ice chips and baby carrots helped too.

I am grateful for the freedom not smoking has giving me! I no longer have to find the lighter, the pack of smokes and especially a place where it is legal to smoke! I took your advise and started saving the money I would have been spending on cigarettes. Thanks to those savings and not smoking I was able to realize a lifelong dream of flying to Hawaii (I was born there). I had never been able to go before because the thought of not being able to smoke for that long kept me a prisoner. Then I continued to save and my youngest son is going to college on thos savings! what a trip huh? (by the way my sons don't smoke either!)

Again, V.J. thank you for your dedication, your knowledge and you support of me. By the way, if you ever hear that old myth that alcoholics and addicts can't stop smoking, you can tell them for that is simply not true! I am both and they said it would not be possible for me to quit and not drink or use. And yes, stopping smoking was very, very difficult for me yet, one day at a time and with the help of you and your program I remain '"smoke free" for 2252 days (and counting )
See ya at the next Walk for Life. I'll be there in gratitude of being smoke free!

Sincerely,

Dani Melton

Changing the Way You Think to Help Stop Smoking

It is important to change the way you think about cigarettes. I find it sad when individuals have quit for many years but are still thinking and wanting a cigarette. wouldn't it be nice for smoking to just be a non issue in your life!
The following five steps will help you work through your compulsion to smoke, not only during withdrawals but any time in the future. When a craving comes over you, begin your thinking with what is happening to you

1. Right now I am having a desire to smoke.
When the desire comes up, face it. It is going to come over you whether you like it or not. It is unrealistic that after smoking for so many years that you will never have another thought about a cigarette. The desire is normal. You do not need to be afraid of it, hide from it, get rid of it, or pretend it isn’t there. It is not bigger than you. It cannot hurt you. Let it run its course. Cravings only last for a short while. You can be certain that as long as you do not give into your craving, the desire to smoke will inevitably diminish, becoming less frequent and less intense until most of the time you feel like a non-smoker. Remember that even though you may want a cigarette, you do not want to get sick from smoking or go on smoking for the rest of your life.

2. I can smoke at any time, I am not deprived.
Nobody is taking your cigarettes away from you. You do not have to give up smoking for good. Even if you quit, you can go back to smoking at any time that you choose. However, you can never go back to being a happy smoker again.

3. I am a puff away from a pack a day.
Do not trick yourself into thinking that you can have one puff when the going gets difficult. Using your drug to get through withdrawals from your drug does not make sense. One puff will always call for another puff and sooner or later, you will go back to smoking the same number of cigarettes that you smoked before.


4. Right now I have a choice to make for myself. Either I give in to this temporary discomfort and go back to the constant misery of smoking OR I can accept this temporary discomfort and work through it for these benefits….
Then review your “Reasons for Quitting” wallet card that you have been carrying in your cigarette pack. One way to make sure these are important reasons for stopping is to ask yourself whether you are willing to accept the temporary discomfort of going through withdrawal for your reasons. There are only two choices, so make your choice.

5. At this moment, I willingly accept the temporary discomfort because I want….
Then fill in what it is that you want from quitting. Always end your thinking with at least three major benefits.

When you have a craving, do not let it make a fool of you. Use these thought processes and your reasons card every time that the desire comes up.

Do not whine and complain because you cannot have it both ways. You cannot smoke without consequences. If you do not stop, you will die smoking. There is always a price to pay. You can succumb to your desire to get temporary relief from stress or you can work through it for long term happiness, health and freedom. You must choose between temporary discomfort and ongoing misery.

Use these steps to face your compulsion to smoke and train your mind to work in a new way, instead of automatically giving in to your desire, like Pavlov’s dog.

Breaking your connection to cigarettes takes time and it is easy to become discouraged, so focus on what you are trying to accomplish such as good health, peace of mind, self-respect and freedom from fear and slavery. You are doing something wonderful for yourself and when you succeed, you will be grateful for the rest of your life.

Why Smokers Gain Weight When They Quit Smoking and Tips to Quit

there are 7 different reasons why smokers gain weight when they quit, most of it is because of eating more food:

1. Change in metabolism accounts for 3-6 pounds. 70% of weight gain is due to increase calorie consumption.
- Exercise, 20 minutes per day more than you normally do
- Discuss using Zyban™ and Nicotine Replacement Products with your doctor, these medications can help reduce the amount of weight gained.

2. Withdrawal from nicotine causes low blood sugar
- Substitute raw fruit or vegetables for pastries, candy bars and junk food
- Eat on a regular basis, do not skip meals

3. Ingesting more food as a habit of hand to mouth motion
- Stock up on low fat crunchy foods, such as unshelled unsalted sunflower seeds, or unbuttered popcorn, eat one at a time.
- Increase intake of vegetables such as carrot sticks, celery, green peppers, jicama,
- Get a fake cigarette, a coffee stirrer or toothpick to chew on
- Get a water bottle and take frequent sips of water


4. Using food as a reward for not smoking
- Find other rewards than food, treat yourself with the money you are saving by not smoking
- Stay conscious about the amount of food that you are eating
- Keep a food diary, writing down before you eat what you are going to eat, where you are, what
you are doing and how you are feeling.

5. Eating more at meals to delay having a craving that comes at the end of a meal
- Get up from the table as soon as you are full
- Go brush your teeth, have a breathe mint, chew gum
- Use a smaller plate
- Go for a walk after eating

6. Food tastes and smells better once you have quit smoking
- Eat slower, putting your fork down in between bites
- Decide and write it down, how much food that you are going to eat before the meal
- Be conscious of what you are putting into your mouth

7. Emotional eating. Not dealing with feelings and emotions but using food as a substitute for
emotional needs. To escape from boredom, tension, depression. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
- Continue the food diary, paying particular attention to how you are feeling when you are eating. Decide how to handle emotions in a health, non-judgment manner without resorting to food, alcohol, cigarettes or other substances.

Different Reasons Why We Smoke

I have personally quit a total of nine separate times for at least 3 months each time. This is not counting the numerous attempts of a day here or a day there. Each time I have quit, I have learned something else about how I was connected to my cigarette. The first time I quit, it seemed easy, too easy and I thought I could control my smoking. But I was wrong, I needed to learn about relapsing and how just one cigarette can lead to a whole pack.
Another time it was important to learn what to do with my hands and the hand to mouth motion. Chewing on coffee stirrers worked for me. Other times, it was learning how to handle social situations without smoking and having a cocktail. I used to run a social club and often smokers would come up to me with a cigarette in their hand and want to talk. I would excuse myself and say that I would be right back. As soon as they put out their cigarette, I would return and them tell them that I had recently quit and it was difficult for me to be around a lit cigarette. That put the emphasis on me changing, not on changing or making them wrong.
The last time I quit, I needed to learn to control my strong emotions. I had started again because I was so angry at someone else that I had no outlet to vent and I saw no option except to smoke. Each time I quit, I develop another tool for my toolbox in dealing with my addiction to nicotine. Just like a carpenter needs many different tools for different jobs, a smokers needs different tools to handle the many different way they are connected to their cigarettes.
Since I've quit at least 9 times, this also means that I relapsed 8 times before I was finally successful. Most smokers would have given up before that because we want to make it easy to quit, we just want it over with but for some people like me who are truly addicted to nicotine, we need all the help we can get--which is developing more tools for your toolbox.

The 5 "D's" to Help Stop Smoking

Drink water or fruit juice to help flush the nicotine out of your system.

Deep Breathe from your abdomen. Avoid shallow breathing. Lie on the floor with a piece of paper on your navel, trying to lift the paper by using your breath. Breathe deeply through your nose, exhaling through your mouth.

Do something else. Get your mind off the cigarette. Keep your hands busy. Engage in substitute activities.
~ Play a musical instrument
~ Play computer games, game boy
~ Doodle or sketch
~ Read a book or magazine
~ Start a new hobby
~ Do a crossword puzzle
~ Knit, crochet, needlepoint
~ Do house or yard work
~ Clean out the closets
~ Give yourself a manicure or pedicure
~ Shampoo the dog
~ Chew on a straw, cinnamon stick, toothpick, clove, gum
~ Brush your teeth
~ Take a shower or slash cold water on your face.
~ Balance your checkbook
~ Surf the Internet
~ Try eating unshelled, unsalted sunflower seeds. Eat one at a time
~ Exercise
~ Go for a brisk walk. If you cannot walk outside, walk the interior of a mall.
~ Ride a bike
~ Go for a swim
~ Lift weights
~ Climb a flight of stairs instead of using the elevator
~ Stretch, touch your toes, do jumping jacks
~ Park a block or two away from your destination and walk

Delay ~ Wait it out, a craving will often fade and disappear in a few minutes
~ Count to 300
~ Say to yourself, “I'll think of cigarettes in 5 minutes”, then go do something else
~ Talk yourself out of it, tell yourself “This craving isn’t going to last, it is only temporary”.
~ Remember the craving will go away whether or not you smoke.

Discuss with a friend ~ Call a non-smoking support person
~ Go to a nicotine anonymous meeting
~ Your best support may be someone that has kept you at a distance because you smoke, seek
out others who are going through the quitting process now, or have successful quit in the past
~ Avoid people who will tempt you to return to smoking

Alternatives to Medications to Stop Smoking

There are a number of reasons why some smokers resist using medications to help ease them through the withdrawal stage when they stop smoking. There are a number of things you can do to help:

Nicotine is water soluble so drink plenty of fluids. Cold water supplemented with fruit juices with Vitamin C is best. Drink enough until the color of your urine is clear. Avoid coffee if it is a trigger to smoke.

An increase in the oxygen you breathe can have the same calming effect as smoking a cigarette. Start the habit of deep breathing. Most smokers are shallow breathers yet our lungs are quite large. Practice breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, expanding your abdomen.

Smoking generates an acidic condition and an alkaline diets consisting of fruits and vegetables helps in detoxification and withdrawals. So start eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably raw. Stock up on crunchy low fat foods such as carrots, celery, radishes, broccoli, bell peppers, apples, pears, cinnamon sticks, sugarless candy, unbuttered popcorn, rice cakes, cereal. This will also help with weight gain since since withdrawing from nicotine can lower the blood sugar, it's better to reach for fruit for natural sugar instead of a candy bar or pastry.

Take a multi-vitamin with extra vitamin C and vitamin B’s. Smoking robs the body of vitamin C and this lowers the immune system making the smoker more likely to catch a cold or get the flu when they quit. Vitamin B's will help calm the nervous system.

Get plenty of rest. Do not take on extra responsibilities at this time. When quitting the smokers body is going through tremendous stress, this is not the time to burn the candle at both ends but to treat yourself gently and focus on what is important.

Exercise helps with unwanted weight gain and uncontrolled stress. Walk briskly for 20 minutes each day.

Avoid alcohol for several weeks. Alcohol impairs your judgment. If you will not stop drinking alcohol, you may want to look at your reasons why. 85% of hard core alcoholics smoke yet smoking is more likely to kill an alcoholic than their liquor.

Change the way you think about withdrawals--they are actually recovery symptoms, telling you that your body is healing itself.

If you have any health problems, speak with your physician before making any changes in your routine or starting an exercise program. If you are taking medications, the dosages may need adjusting after you stop smoking. If after 3 to 4 weeks, you are still having physical problems, go see your doctor. Smoking mask physical problems that quitting exposes. A middle age man in one of my workshops complained that every time he quit smoking, his stomach hurt, so he would go back to smoking. It turned out that he had an ulcer but the smoking was masking the pain. Quitting didn't cause the ulcer, but helped him get a diagnosis and get it treated.