Is it time to Change the Great American Smokeout to Stoptober?

The Great American Smokeout is the third Thursday in November. It is a day that encourages smokers to try and stop smoking for just one day. It is hoped that if a person can quit for a day, they will continue on.
Most smokers can quit for one day but as soon as that one day is over, they often go back to the same number of cigarettes they have always smoked.
New Zealand is trying something different. This is the second year of  Stoptober  where smokers are encouraged to quit for just one month - October. Rather than focusing on the risks of smoking, the focus on the benefits of being smoke-free - which is the approach I take when I work with smokers. To be successful you have to find something more important than a cigarette. It could be saving money, better health, being a better role model for you children or the freedom you get when you don't always have to interrupt your life to go smoke a cigarette.
Maybe it's time for the U.S. to adopt Stoptober too! What do you think?

Understanding how a quitter will go through the Stages of Change before finally quitting

On an online quitting smoking support group I had suggested Allan Carr's book, "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" to someone who needed motivation to quit. Someone else responded back with: 

VJ -- I read your book and Allen Carrs book... I liked both but nothing helped me quit .. but myself ... and I never thought I could do it .. but I did it ..   L.

I have had smokers tell me this before and what they are really saying is at the time when they either attended my group, were counseled by me, read my book, ....they weren't ready to quit YET. My response back to L.:

My belief is that ANY time spend thinking about change leads to making that change. The Stages of Change Model has been around for a very long time which explains how a person goes from not want to make a change (precontemplation) to making the change. At each "stage" there are psychological processes that help a person move along the continuum. Here is a chart that I use when I do trainings for health care professionals:

A person in precontemplation has no desire to change. It is no use giving them a solution because they don't think they have a problem. Consciousness raising is giving them a problem--which is what Allan Carr's book is all about--changing the way you think about smoking.

Contemplation is where you want to quit but you still want to smoke. There is ambiguity--"I want to quit BUT not right now". Self-reevaluation is looking at yourself in relationship to whatever change you want to make.

L.-- commitment is what you are talking about when you say that only you helped you quit--you made the commitment to yourself. And every time you read something, every time you thought about changing, you were raising your consciousness, doing a self-reevaluation, and increasing an emotional arousal.

One of the reasons why it is so hard to quit is that everyone is at a difference stage, so giving advice to someone who is in contemplation needs to be different than someone taking action. An action step would be to tell someone to go for a walk instead of smoking (countering) but if you told that to someone who is in precontemplation--it would fall on deaf ears because they don't even want to quit, but that information gets stored away in their brain, and is put to use if and when they ever make it to the action stage.

Motivational interviewing, cognitive-behavioral therapy and relapse prevent are the type of therapy skills used at each stage.

My book has a little bit of all stages within it.

Her reply: VJ, Yes you are right . I did not think of it that way ..

I am a former smoker, what should I do went I am with my friends who still smoke?

​Just something to think about when you are with friends who still smoke----None of us want to be that nasty holy-than-thou former smoker who shames their smoking friends but do you 

1. want to be around secondhand smoke? 

2. Enable your friend in their addiction?

1. Secondhand smoke is a carcinogen. Instead of saying to a friend--"you can't smoke around me." Say- "I (have a medical problem, for me it was cancer) and my doctor has told me not avoid 2nd smoke as much as possible, it is best for my health. I'm not telling you to not smoke, only that I can't be around it. When she lights up--excuse yourself and wait until she is through and then come back. You don't need to say anything else.  You don't need to say what the medical problem is--it could be one of the many risk factors for heart disease or cancer. you might have diabetes, or be pregnant.

2. Enabling addiction--if your friend was shooting heroin would you stay around them and enable them to continue to use heroin? Heroin is less likely to kill your friend than smoking. Most smokers if they are really honest - do want to quit. In the Stages of Change--the first step is not-wanting to quit, one of the psychological interventions is-- social liberation---making their behavior a problem for THEM. People say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I feel it is my duty to make that horse AWARE of his thirst and then remove all obstacles between him and the water. In other words, smokers won't quit until smoking is a problem for THEM. Every little thing that makes it more inconvenience for them to smoke, is another little irritation that changes their thinking from "I don't want to quit, to - maybe I should think about quitting."

Three examples: 1. A girlfriend of mine wanted her husband to quit smoking. He could only smoke outside and so they spent a lot of time on the patio so he could smoke. My recommendation to her was to stop sitting out there when he smoked. She didn't need to say anything but by staying out there while he smoke, was condoning his behavior--he had no reason to change--he could smoke AND enjoy her company. If she stopped going out there he was not getting the reinforcement (of her company) that he wanted. He started smoking less and finally did quit.

2. A girlfriend of mine, who smoked, came to visit (she lived in another state). I told her that she couldn't smoke inside my house but could go outside. First time she went out, she left the glass door open and was still talking to me as she lit up. I came over and closed the door and remained inside. I said I didn't want the smoke smell coming into my house. Years later she told me that the action of closing the door on her--caused her to smoke less cigarettes and less of each cigarette. She also thought about her behavior. I don't know if she ever quit since we lost contact over the years. 

3. I used to run a singles club (Sizzling Singles--another story but a whole lot of fun). We would meet in bars when you could still smoke in bars. Often smokers would come up to me with a lit cigarette to ask me a question. I would immediately stop them and say--"Just a minute I'll be right back." I would either go to the bathroom, to the bar to get some water or some other excuse. Once their cigarette was out, I would go back to them and say either, "I'm a former smoker and I find I am so tempted to bum a smoke that I just can't be around a lit cigarette" or "I'm a cancer survivor and my doctor has told me to avoid 2nd hand smoke as much as possible", sometimes I used both answers. No one was ever offended but sympathized with me and often said they wished they could quit too. 

In each case, no one told the smoker to not smoke, no one was "shamed" about their smoking but boundary lines were set by either blaming your doctor or yourself that you can't be around smoke, making it your problem, not shaming them that they have a problem. But in a subtle way the smoker is given a problem--"I can't smoke and be around my friend". You have just started making that horse be aware that maybe they are thirsty. 

The #1 secret to quitting smoking

I'm asked all the time what is the one thing I would say to smokers who want to quit. The answer I want to say is to tell me more about the smoker and I will tell you what that smoker wants to hear but everybody is different. Every smoker is connected to their cigarettes in different ways and it will take different methods to become successful.

However, what every successful smoker has in common is that they truly desire to become smoke-free and quit smoking. They don't feel they have to, no one is forcing them, they are quitting because they WANT TO.

Which is the key to success: want to quit smoking more than you want to continue smoking. I can already hear you saying, "But I really do want to quit!" But is there that small voice in your head saying, "But I enjoy smoking too."?

Smokers often have a love/hate relationship with cigarettes. It is like any other bad relationship: sometimes it seems easier to stay than to go through the process of changing. So with cigarettes it is time to make the decision for a divorce.

Make two lists: things you enjoy about smoking and things you enjoy about being smoke-free. Spend time thinking about what being smoke-free means to you. More time to spend with your family or doing things you enjoy instead of constantly being a slave to your cigarettes. More money to spend. More freedom. No more searching for a place to smoke or feeling like a pariah. What are your values? is smoking preventing you from really embracing your values: as a parent and role model, as someone who values the ability to be physically independent, valuing freedom and the right to make your own decisions instead of being controlled by nicotine?

On the other hand, what do you truly enjoy about smoking? Do you enjoy the stench of stale tobacco smoke? Spending money only to burn it up? Lying to yourself that it relieves your stress when actually all it is doing is relieving your withdrawal symptoms and adding to your stress.

Once your reasons to be smoke-free are more important that another cigarette, you will find the method that will work for you. It will also get you through the months ahead when nicotine is calling you again for just one more time.  But when wanting to quit is the more important, you can tell that cigarette that you've moved on and there is no going back.

The ultimate way to increase your willpower to stop smoking forever

Zelda became fast friends with Mary another smoker when they both became members of the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE).  CORE is a civil rights organization which helped organize the March on Washington and ended with Martin Luther King giving his famous "I have a dream" speech. 

After smoking for 30 years Zelda and Mary decided to quit together. While it was difficult, Mary was successful but Zelda was not. Like many smokers, over the years she tried many times to quit but her willpower was not stronger than the temptation to smoke. 

Years later they met up again at conference and Mary said, "Why are you still smoking?"

Zelda didn't have a good answer but Mary's words haunted her for the next few days. When she drove Mary to the airport, Zelda turned to her and said, "If I ever smoke again, I'll write a check for $5000 to the Klu Klux Klan."

She quit cold turkey right then and every time she was tempted to smoke a cigarette, she thought of writing that check to the KKK which was such an abhorrent thought that she never smoked again.
Click here to hear Zelda's story

Zelda gave herself no way out of this deal. This type of action is called a "pre-commitment" which involves making a binding agreement with a huge cost if a temptation is acted upon. Neuroimaging studies on the brain are now showing how pre-commitment is different than willpower and uses different parts of the brain. Click here to read about it.

As any smoker who has tried to quit knows, using willpower alone makes it almost impossible to resist temptation when it pops up. Even with the best of intentions and having good reasons to quit, the long term benefits of becoming smoke-free are not strong enough to overcome that immediate pleasure of smoking a cigarette. Willpower breaks down when an immediate temptation creates that strong impulse or craving to act now by smoking.

Using a functional MRI, we can now see how pre-commitment can help in staying smoke-free. Our brains have a memory and a smoker's brain may recognize that in past experiences willpower has failed to resist temptation and that failure is repeated when faced with a new temptation. But when a smoker has made a pre-commitment and is tempted to smoke, a different part of the brain is used which eliminates this short term temptation. A pre-commitment, or a binding choice becomes an alternative to willpower.

So the trick is to make a deal with yourself that is so horrible that you will do anything to avoid it and tie that commitment to the act of smoking, like Zelda did by imagining writing a $5000 check to the KKK if she smoked even one cigarette.

What deal will you make with yourself? Make the decision to follow through if you do smoke and stick to it. Give yourself no way out. Making a pre-commitment may be all you need to stay smoke-free forever.

The Biggest Mistake When Motivating Smokers to Quit

A friend and I were at the park when a young man approached us and said: "Can I bum a smoke?"

My response was, "Boy, did you ask the wrong person. I help smokers trying to quit. Do you know why someone your age shouldn't smoke?"

"Yeah, I know..... cancer.", he said defiantly.

"No that's not why. Smoking is the major cause of impotency. Do you want to be able to have sex for the rest of your life?", I said.

After the young man wandered off, my friend said he disagreed with what I said. He went into great detail of what motivated him to not start smoking when he was young, which was a huge fear of getting lung cancer.

Ask anyone who has never smoked and they can list their reasons for not starting to smoke. This list is always about the consequences of smoking but it is a huge mistake is to think these are the same reasons why people will quit. After all, they have already started smoking--it's too late for prevention.

Never-smokers have never experienced the enjoyment and benefits of smoking so they only look at the consequences. Yet every smoker knows about lung cancer and has already weighed the future, maybe it-won't-happen-to-me consequences against their current enjoyment of smoking. The future threat of cancer won't motivate them to stop.The reasons to quit smoking are totally different than the reasons to not start.

To effectively motivate someone means their reasons to become smoke-free have to be more important than their reasons to continue smoking. Nobody wants to give up something they enjoy unless there is some more important to them. Besides, every time they see their doctor, he listens to their chest and says, "Your lungs sound fine to me."  A smoker hears that statement to mean he isn't at risk for lung cancer.

I knew I only had a few moments with this cigarette-bummer, so I gave him a reason that might be more important than a cigarette because I don't know of any man in his 20's that doesn't think sex is important. I will never know whether my words had an effect on him but I planted a seed because he hesitated  for a very long time before he answered me, "That's what Viagra is for."

Why is it so hard to quit smoking?

Becoming smoke free can be one of the hardest changes one makes in their life, but why is it so hard?

For true change to happen it is only possible when the desire to become smoke-free is stronger than the desire to continue smoking and when the smoker has the tools, skills and self-knowledge, that build self-confidence, to take effective action.

Every former smoker will tell nobody quits until they really want to quit, until then it's a struggle. Yet 70% of smokers will say they "want to quit" but in reality, what they want is to continue getting their perceived benefits from smoking (stress relief, enjoyment) and want to avoid the negative consequences (cancer ete.). They want their cake and want to eat it too--but you can't have both. The popularity of the e-cig is that this is the promise they are making. The only problem is they can't back up their promise because no one knows the long term health effects from using the e-cig. To build desire the "WHY: of becoming smoke-free is most important.

When the benefits from smoking are compared with the negatives of trying to quitting, the cigarettes win out but when becoming smoke-free is MORE important than continuing to smoke, the method will appear because the smoker will seek out the tools, skills and self-knowledge that are needed to go through the process of changing to a life of being smoke-free. 

After having a strong "why", the next part is the "how-to" part. Often smoking is considered part of our "self-care" especially when dealing with stress, fear, anxiety. When everything is falling apart, our "friends" are still there to offer comfort. Smoking is a low-effort coping strategy and if like most smokers you have started as a teen--you haven't developed other effective coping strategies because smoking has always been there and has worked. Part of the struggle is to develop other "self-care" techniques but often they require more effort than just lighting up. This differs for every smoker and the tools, skills and self- knowledge.

Allan Carr's book, "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" is great for motivation because he takes every argument used to continue smoking and rips it apart. He works on the WHY to quit, but not the HOW to quit. In over 20 years of working with smokers, as soon as the WHY to quit is stronger than the desire to continue to smoke, the rest is just gaining the tools, skills and self-knowledge.  This builds confidence and when a smoker feels they have the ability to succeed, they will take effective action. 

Effective action means having a plan in place to deal with the many different aspects of smoking and not relying on just one method to quit. Some smokers are more physically addicted than others and may need medicinal therapy. Habit cigarettes require behavior modification, stress cigarettes require effective stress management. 

As a Tobacco Treatment Specialist, my job is to help a smoker develop the desire, figure out what tools, and skills are needed through self-knowledge and how to develop an effective action plan. 

What works and what doesn't work?

I'm approached all the time to sell products that claim to help a smoker quit. One company claimed that cravings would vanish by smelling a cinnamon scented wand. In a very unscientific experiment, I gave them out to all of the participants in one of my workshops. One third said that the wands did remove the craving, one third said the wands did nothing and one third said smelling the wand caused an increase in cravings. Another man swore that when he rubbed a Peruvian amulet, his cravings went away.
I firmly believe that regardless of how outlandish a quitting method seems, that every method will work for some, but no method works for everyone. Some products will work because of the placebo effect, which if the user believes strongly that a method will work for them, then with the power of their own mind, they will be successful. So when a client will ask about any alternative method used for quitting, I have to admit that I am biased. I've been facilitating cessation classes for 19 years and I often hear, "This class is my last resort--I've tried everything and nothing works." (which includes acupuncture, & hypnosis). The individuals that attend my classes are the ones that have tried all the other methods and products and found they didn't work.

So what does work? Smokers are like individual snowflakes, each connected to their cigarettes in various ways. So instead of endorsing any particular product or method, I encourage smokers examine how they relate to their cigarettes. When do they smoke? What habits are associated with smoking? What physical effects do they feel when quitting? By looking at how they are connected to their cigarettes, will tell them what aspect they need to work on to be successful and often it is not just one aspect but many.

Rather than spending money for products claiming to be a magic wand to quit but probably won't work, except to line the manufacturer's pocket with the smoker's money, practice changing one aspect of smoking. Break one habit, such as not smoking in the car anymore, only smoking outside. Practice going outside for a smoke break with your friends but don't smoke. Talk to your doctor about different medications, it may take trial and error to find a combination that works for the individual.

Why Can Some Smokers Just Quit?

Some ex-smokers will say that one day they just decided to quit and they did, walked away from their cigarettes and never had another puff. It's like a light switch being turned on, going from not wanting to quit smoking to becoming a former smoker. For some smokers when that light switch turns on, they are more likely to stay quit than if they decide to delay quitting by making a plan, they do just walk away from their cigarettes. So how can this help someone who is struggling to quit?

There are several components to turning on the light switch to quit: beliefs, past experiences and current environmental situations. Often it is the unconscious motivations and beliefs that are brought to light by something going on currently in the life of the smoker that tips the balance and flips the switch. So instead of struggling to quit, a smoker can focus on these components and make them a strong force in their life and one day, the light switch may just flip on for them too.

Beliefs: Often smokers will focus on what they can't or are unwilling to do instead of what they can do. Smokers need to have the confidence or belief that they can be successful at quitting and there are 3 ways to increase that confidence level:

1. Take an baby action step with something that you are willing and able to do. You don't need to make the giant leap to quitting, but start with something simple that you have no resistance to such as reading different quitting tips but with no expectation of implementing anything. Or starting to smoke only outside instead of inside your home or car. Leaving your pack in the other room instead of next to you. What are you willing to do? Now do it.
2. Watch ex-smokers-what did they do when they quit? Most will be more than willing to share how they quit. Find someone that you admire, and ask them questions, sometimes this won't be a close friend because often former smokers will keep you at a distance because you smoke, even if they don't say anything to you.
3. Listen to encouraging words from a trusted person. Unfortunately, most smokers don't get words of encouragement, they are nagged, shamed and blamed for their smoking. Find someone who will tell you that you can be successful when you're ready and tell those who nag you that they are only increasing the urge to smoke, if only in defiance. If you can't think of anyone, then call one of the free state-sponsored quit-lines that have trained professionals that will encourage you.

Past Experiences: A powerful tool is to write a goodbye letter to your cigarettes, telling them what they have meant to you, how they have helped you in certain situations, what they have contributed to your life and how they have harmed you.

Current environment situations: For many, the economy is a major issue, think how much money you would save by quitting. Different cities and states are regulating where a person can smoke, how is this impacting you? Some employers are going smoke-free, how does this affect you? Ask your doctor to explain in detail what smoking is doing to your body and how will your body improve if you quit? What else is happening in your world that affects you and how does this relate to your smoking?

By taking even small steps in looking at your relationship to your cigarettes, will help build that state of mind that ultimately will lead to success. Believe in progress, not perfection and the day will come when the light turns on for you too.

How to Talk to Smokers So They Will Listen To You

Think about when you bought your last car. Did the salesman sell you a car that you really didn't want? Or did you buy a car that you wanted and the salesman provided information and helped facilitate your buying decision? Who was in control? Salesman are taught how to overcome objections to the sale. Did your car salesman manipulate you into buying the car by overcoming all objections or did the salesman provide a solution to your problem? We don't want to be sold something, but we want to buy, subtle difference but a definite one. The salesman you want to do business with is the one that had your best interests at heart regardless if they made the sale.

I consider myself a health educator since I have been helping smokers quit for 18 years and I expect to receive my Masters degree in health psychology in December 2009. Yet my employment background has been in sales for almost 30 years. One of the reasons why I have been so successful with smokers is because I still consider myself a salesman and I have put "sales techniques" to work to help others quit.

In sales, there are a few objections that you cannot overcome such as the buyer doesn't have any money and can't get a loan, then, they can't buy. With smokers there is no objection that I can't overcome because I believe that everyone wants to buy good health (quit smoking), even if they don't know it YET. Someday they WILL want to quit and I want to facilatate the day arriving sooner than later. When talking to smokers, I'm trying to sell "good health" and they may not be buying right now but the last thing I want to do is try to manipulate and overcome all objections and "sell" the smoker, because that will only lengthen his ultimate decision to quit (or "buy" good health). Many try to motivate smokers by nagging, shaming and blaming, none which work but will also lengthen the time before they decide to quit. My job as a salesman of good health is to provide positive encouragement, reinforcement and motivation, and to promote self-efficacy and persistence.
Motivation: finding out the values of the smoker that conflict with the value they find in smoking and present that incompatibility.
Positive encouragement: No matter how small a step the smoker takes to quitting, is something to celebrate: "That's great that you quit for a week...."
Promote self-efficacy & persistence: " ....and I know that when you are ready to try again, you will be successful!"
No Nagging: When you nag, you are trying to force someone to do something that they don't want to do--in other words, they are trying to sell you a car that you don't want to buy.
No blaming or shaming: Blaming someone makes them feel wrong and promotes shame which is the feeling that there is something instinctively wrong with you. Nagging blaming and shaming are not conducitive to the lasting change that is desired. But the smoker must make his own decision which you can support and encourage.

Optimistic Bias towards Quitting Smoking

Often non-smokers will say to a smoker,
"Don't you know that smoking causes lung cancer?" (Or one of the other horrible diseases that smoking is link to).
Oh course the smoker knows this information but unfortunately, information alone is insufficient to change behavior. Too many smokers have an optimistic bias that they will be one of the ones to escape damage from smoking or that they will quit before any damage is done. The first step to quitting is to build desire and that stems from a conflict in values that the smoker deems important. One of the worst things that happens is when the smoker visits his or her doctor and the doctor says,
"You're lungs sound fine." What the smoker hears is that their smoking has done no damage. Instead of loading the smoker up with "information", listen to what is really important in their life and see if it is in conflict with smoking. Yesterday, a client, Steve, was talking to me about his friend, Eric, who smokes. Steven had quit smoking years ago and asked Eric if he had a death wish by continuing to smoke. I told Steve that was his reason for quitting but it might not be a good reason for Eric. Eric teaches music at a local organization. I told Steve that what might work better is to ask Eric what kind of role model he is providing to his students if they knew he was smoking. Eric values his relationship with his students and that might be more motivating that focusing on the health effects. To build desire, focus on what is important to the smoker instead of just giving them information.

You CAN'T Quit or You Don't WANT to Quit???

I Can’t versus I don’t want to.

“I can’t quit smoking, it’s too stressful.”
“I can’t quit because I can’t use any medications.”
“It’s hopeless.”
“It’s impossible for me to quit.”

Rita was a middle aged woman that had returned to college. She smoked while she studied at her kitchen table. I suggested that she try studying at the library.
“Oh, I can’t do that!”

Dorothy commented on some of the homework assignments from a Stop Smoking, Stay Quit Workshop:

“I can’t eat oranges because they give me hives, I can’t eat carrots because I don’t like them, I can’t exercise because I don’t have the time and I can’t drink more water because I don’t get bathroom breaks at work.”

“What do you want from me?” I asked.

“I want you to tell me that I can’t quit.” Dorothy said.

I didn’t argue with her but said, “You’re right, you can’t quit.” But if you look at her reasons, what she was really saying is “I don’t want to quit.”
Saying “I Can’t” implies that whatever being asked is impossible to do. None of the homework assignments were impossible to do. There are very few things in life we CAN’T do, but this is usually just an excuse because we don’t WANT to.
It's easier to say, “I can't quit,” because that implies that the smoker is not responsible for the outcome. Once the smoker says “I can quit,” this implies that they are now taking responsibility for their actions.

In a different class, Jack said almost the same thing as Dorothy,

“I can’t eat more fruits and vegetables.”

This time I wanted to fall through the floor because Jack had lost his lower jaw to bone cancer due to smoking. He had no bottom teeth to eat with and was on a totally liquid diet. It was impossible for him to eat more fruits and vegetables.

“But I’m not going to let that stop me. I can do everything else because I want to quit.”

If a smoker believes that he can’t quit, he can’t but usually this means they don’t want to do what it takes to be successful and this usually means that the motivation is not strong enough or is non-existent. It is important to not push a smoker to a step they are not ready for yet. Resistance at this point, may mean that the focus needs to be on motivation instead of moving forward.
“You don’t understand, I can’t afford your class because I can’t afford milk for my children.” This smoker said this to me as she sucked on her cigarette. I didn’t point out to her the insanity of putting the buying of cigarettes before buying milk for her children.
A smoker needs to believe that they can be successful at quitting. By taking small steps instead of leaping forward, the smoker can build the confidence to quit. The process is easier as the smoker changes his beliefs from I can’t to I want to. So one step forward is to decide what you are willing to do--maybe it is something as simple as only smoking outside, or stop smoking in the car. Willingness to try can create success for the next step forward of what the smoker is willing to try until they are willing to stop altogether.

Willingness to Stop Smoking

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to quit smoking? Quitting is hard work and it takes a willingness to go through the steps to get to the other side. It's like starting a diet, you have to be willing to reduce caloric intake and increase energy expenditure. Diets fail because most are willing to do this for a specific period of time but then they want to go back to their previous way of eating, and they gain the weight back. The are not willing to adopt a new way of relating to food.
Smoking is similar. First, the smoker needs to be willing to do what it takes to get through the withdrawals and cravings, just like losing the weight is the first part of dieting. Next is maintenance, which is resisting smoking even one cigarette. This is where the question, "Are you willing to do what ever it takes to resist this one cigarette?" comes into play again.
Until a person is ready to answer "Yes" to this question, they may have quit but they are likely to relapse because they figure, "One won't hurt." But they are under estimating how powerful nicotine affects their brain. By slipping and having one cigarette, the receptors in the brain wake up and shout, "Don't tease me with one, I want the whole pack!" Both dieting and quitting smoking require life style changes to have long term success. For future non-smokers, it requires finding the tools to resist having "Just One".

Stop Smoking:The Carrot or The Stick Approach

The Carrot or The Stick Approach

Jim couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for breath. He wanted to quit smoking because his doctor said that his breathing would improve if he quit smoking (the carrot). Within a very short period of time after quitting, Jim could see a dramatic improvement in his breathing. He was very excited and happy with his condition. He called me nine months later and said that he wanted to go back to smoking because his doctor said his lungs were damaged from smoking and his lungs were as good as they were going to get. His doctor told him that if he started smoking again, that within six months, Jim would be carting an oxygen tank (the stick).

Two factors motivate us to do anything in life, we pursue things that please us (the carrot) or we seek to avoid physical or psychological pain (the stick). Often the carrot or the stick can be opposite sides of the same coin but one side is more motivating than the other.

At first Jim was motivated by the carrot, better breathing and later when the carrot was no longer available the stick or having his breathing become worse, was not as motivating and Jim started smoking again. For Jim, his motivation was a carrot, not a stick.

But instead of finding out what is motivating to the smoker, we tell them what would motivate us. You need to listen to the smoker to find out what carrot or what stick motivates them and then build upon that motivation which plants the seed of desire. Until this happens, the smoker is unlikely to change.