Help! I quit smoking but I'm going out to dinner with a couple who both smoke. I'll be surrounded.

You will be surrounded by smokers only if you allow it. I have no problem telling smokers that I choose to not be around second hand smoke due to MY health issues. I don't tell them they can't smoke, only that I won't be around it. I hope that you ask to sit inside in a non-smoking section and allowed them to go outside when they want to smoke. If they insisted that this is unreasonable then I would consider it abuse.

Besides the best thing we can do for friends who smoke--is to help them quit. The first step is that they have to come to the realization that their smoking is a problem--if they can smoke around you without consequences, then their smoking is not a problem. But if you insist to your right to breath smoke-free air, then their smoking becomes a problem--they have to go outside--but is that really so much of an inconvenience compared to your right to not endanger your health and/or sobriety from smoking?

The more inconvenience it is for smokers to indulge in their addiction, the more problem it becomes and the more they will gravitate towards thinking about quitting. I have a client right now who is quitting (she is now 7 weeks quit). Her major reason to stop is because of the social stigma and inconvenience of trying to find a place to smoke. She has been smoking for over 50 years and it wasn't for her health, cost or anything else.

Often we don't want to "offend" our smoking friends because we remember how it was when we smoked. But would you get in a car with an alcoholic and let them drive knowing they have been drinking because you didn't want to "offend" them?

My motto is your right to smoke ends where my nose begins. Set your boundaries about sitting a non-smoking section, then don't mention their smoking or about quitting unless they broach the subject. 

I'm only a social smoker, what's the big deal?

Melanie considered herself a social smoker. Her husband smoked and she would bum a couple of his cigarettes when she was drinking, usually at a party or out to dinner, She considered herself healthy because she ate a low-fat diet and exercised daily; yet she had a high risk for heart disease. She had a family history of heart disease, her father had died from a heart attack in his fifties. She was 65 and had high cholesterol. She complained that her throat hurt after a night of smoking, which turned out that it wasn't one or two cigarettes but often five or six over just a few hours.

Her doctor explained that there is no safe level of smoking. Anyone with any risks for heart disease should not smoke or even be around secondhand smoke because of the damage smoke does to the cardiovascular system.

There are 7,000 chemical in smoke. Many of these chemicals damage both the function of your heart and your blood vessels. Any amount of smoking even light smoking causes damage.

One of the main components is carbon monoxide, the same gas that comes out of the tailpipe of your car. Once in your blood stream, it binds to red blood cells faster than oxygen and the body is oxygen deprived for a few minutes which can lead to either a heart attack or stroke.

Smoking just one cigarette will:

·        Increase your blood pressure

·        Increase your heart rate

·        Constrict your bronchial tubes which makes your lungs work harder

·        Doubles the amount of carbon monoxide in your system and prevents oxygen from reaching your vital organs

·        Decreased the temperature of your hands and feet by constricting small blood vessels

Social smokers believe that smoking enhances their pleasure in social situations. Some social activities such as parties, golfing, playing cards become a trigger to smoke. For some individuals what starts as just a social activity can become an addiction due to the highly addictive nature of nicotine. Smokers don't start out smoking a pack a day but will start out only smoking now and then. Nicotine changes the structure of the brain reinforcing the desire for a cigarette. It can take as few as 100 cigarettes for the brain to become addicted to nicotine and now the social smoker is a full time smoker.

To quit successfully a social smoker needs to realize they can have fun without smoking. They may need to avoid social situations where they have always smoked until smoking is no longer a temptation. Abstaining from alcohol will make it easier.

There is a reason why firefighters wear masks when approaching any fire; our bodies are not made to inhale smoke and there is no safe level of smoke. So my advice to any social smoker is to stop now before any more damage is done to your body and to prevent becoming addicted.

I am a former smoker, what should I do went I am with my friends who still smoke?

​Just something to think about when you are with friends who still smoke----None of us want to be that nasty holy-than-thou former smoker who shames their smoking friends but do you 

1. want to be around secondhand smoke? 

2. Enable your friend in their addiction?

1. Secondhand smoke is a carcinogen. Instead of saying to a friend--"you can't smoke around me." Say- "I (have a medical problem, for me it was cancer) and my doctor has told me not avoid 2nd smoke as much as possible, it is best for my health. I'm not telling you to not smoke, only that I can't be around it. When she lights up--excuse yourself and wait until she is through and then come back. You don't need to say anything else.  You don't need to say what the medical problem is--it could be one of the many risk factors for heart disease or cancer. you might have diabetes, or be pregnant.

2. Enabling addiction--if your friend was shooting heroin would you stay around them and enable them to continue to use heroin? Heroin is less likely to kill your friend than smoking. Most smokers if they are really honest - do want to quit. In the Stages of Change--the first step is not-wanting to quit, one of the psychological interventions is-- social liberation---making their behavior a problem for THEM. People say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I feel it is my duty to make that horse AWARE of his thirst and then remove all obstacles between him and the water. In other words, smokers won't quit until smoking is a problem for THEM. Every little thing that makes it more inconvenience for them to smoke, is another little irritation that changes their thinking from "I don't want to quit, to - maybe I should think about quitting."

Three examples: 1. A girlfriend of mine wanted her husband to quit smoking. He could only smoke outside and so they spent a lot of time on the patio so he could smoke. My recommendation to her was to stop sitting out there when he smoked. She didn't need to say anything but by staying out there while he smoke, was condoning his behavior--he had no reason to change--he could smoke AND enjoy her company. If she stopped going out there he was not getting the reinforcement (of her company) that he wanted. He started smoking less and finally did quit.

2. A girlfriend of mine, who smoked, came to visit (she lived in another state). I told her that she couldn't smoke inside my house but could go outside. First time she went out, she left the glass door open and was still talking to me as she lit up. I came over and closed the door and remained inside. I said I didn't want the smoke smell coming into my house. Years later she told me that the action of closing the door on her--caused her to smoke less cigarettes and less of each cigarette. She also thought about her behavior. I don't know if she ever quit since we lost contact over the years. 

3. I used to run a singles club (Sizzling Singles--another story but a whole lot of fun). We would meet in bars when you could still smoke in bars. Often smokers would come up to me with a lit cigarette to ask me a question. I would immediately stop them and say--"Just a minute I'll be right back." I would either go to the bathroom, to the bar to get some water or some other excuse. Once their cigarette was out, I would go back to them and say either, "I'm a former smoker and I find I am so tempted to bum a smoke that I just can't be around a lit cigarette" or "I'm a cancer survivor and my doctor has told me to avoid 2nd hand smoke as much as possible", sometimes I used both answers. No one was ever offended but sympathized with me and often said they wished they could quit too. 

In each case, no one told the smoker to not smoke, no one was "shamed" about their smoking but boundary lines were set by either blaming your doctor or yourself that you can't be around smoke, making it your problem, not shaming them that they have a problem. But in a subtle way the smoker is given a problem--"I can't smoke and be around my friend". You have just started making that horse be aware that maybe they are thirsty. 

Secondhand smoke is #1 trigger for asthma

May is Asthma Awareness Month. This chronic respiratory disease affects over 25 million people, 7 million are children. While there is no cure for asthma, it can be controlled. Besides medical treatment, environmental control is the biggest factor a person can do to manage asthma.

Asthma is an inflammation of the lining of the delicate tissues in the airways in your lungs which make it difficult to breathe. It is a serious and possibly life threatening disease. Every day there are 30,000 asthma attacks with 5,000 going to the emergency room and 1,000 are admitted to the hospital. While there are many things that can trigger an attack, secondhand smoke is the #1 trigger.  While there is no cure, asthma can be controlled.

If your child has asthma, stop smoking. If you refuse to quit, stop smoking around your children and change your clothes after smoking - yes, the harmful chemicals from smoke cling to your clothes. Smokers who don't want to quit will say, "You got to die of something, it might as well be something I enjoy."

Last year 7 children in San Bernardino county died from asthma. It's one thing to not care about your own health but do you really want to be responsible for the health of your child with asthma, possibly making their disease worse?

To learn more about how you can control asthma visit The American Lung Association website.

50 Restaurants offer smoke-free patios in the City of Riverside

In 1986, I went to a four star restaurant in Laguna Beach. As we sat down, I noticed that no one was smoking and there weren't any ashtrays on the table. I went into immediate panic of not being able to smoke there. I wanted to leave but the waiter assured me that I could smoke and brought me an ashtray.

Today, I wouldn't sit anywhere if smoking is allowed. I recently attended an event at one of the local casinos. The meeting room was on the second floor in a non-smoking area, but the smell of tobacco reeked throughout the room. I almost had to leave because of a headache and nausea just from the smell. Smoking in restaurants and most places of employment is now banned and California has come a long way in protecting employees of restaurants from secondhand smoke. But smoking is still allowed outside on patios.

Fifty restaurants in the City of Riverside have pledged to protect their employees and customers from secondhand smoke by making their patios smoke-free also. This free campaign is sponsored by the Tobacco Control Project, within the Riverside County Public Health Department. For more information or to add your restaurant to the list contact James Jo at  951 358-4768 or by email at  jjo@rivcocha.org.


In California, less than 12% of the population smokes. It time for the non-smoking majority to be able to enjoy outdoor dining experiences without having to smell smoke and it's time to further protect the waiters and waitress who work in that environment. Second hand smoke is responsible for 53,000 deaths each year from heart disease and cancer. It is more than just a nuisance and I'm glad  more smoke-free options are now available.

Breast Cancer and smoking

I just watched a program featuring Stanton Glanz, PhD. from the University of California in San Fransisco. He is one of my heroes. He has been a leading force in California's smoke free laws since 1978. He was talking on the relationship between smoking and breast cancer. Another subject dear to my heart since I am a breast cancer survivor. I was diagnosed when I was 32.
Glanz presents a very compelling argument linking not only smoking but exposure to secondhand smoke to breast cancer. He points out that research in the past would compare women who smoked with women who didn't smoke and there was a relative risk of 1.2, not a large difference. However, what these studies fail to look at was the percentage of non-smoking women that were exposed to secondhand smoke, either at home with a smoking husband or at work. When these same studies took this into consideration, the rates of breast cancer went up, but only in pre-menopausal women and the risks were similar. Smoking women have a double risk (or 2 times that of a non-smoking, non-secondhand smoke exposed woman), while a non-smoking woman that is exposed to secondhand smoke has a 1.7 times risk.
Animal studies have shown that about 20 of the harmful chemicals in smoke, are found in breast tissue and in breast milk. So it would only make sense that this could lead to breast cancer.
There are many known risk factors for breast cancer having to due with the exposure to estrogen: the age of puberty, age of having a child, age of menopause. Smoking lowers estrogen in a woman's body which increases the risk for osteoprosis and a lwer age for menopause. But this might also explain why the relative risk is similar between smoking and smoking exposed women. Secondhand smoke might not have the same effect of lowering estrogen but still leave chemicals in breast tissue.
A woman's breast goes through different stages from when she is born, to puberty, to full development to lacation after having a child. It appears that the effect of smoking and smoke exposure is higher for women before having a child.

While I appreciate comments, those left in other languages will be deleted. Please post in English only.

Who Will Be Successful At Stop Smoking?

It was the last night of my 6 week smoking cessation workshop and we were talking about slipping and falling into relapse. One of the members had slipped because she got stuck in traffic and had an "emergency" cigarette in her car. I had said the week before that by having that "safety" cigarette handy, this person was very likely to smoke it when faced with stress. Another participant mentioned that I had been right and did I know who would relapse within this group. While I never know for sure, I've been doing this long enough to know who is likely to slip and where the slippery areas are that they may be blind to. So I went around the group. For this one participant- it was social situations with family and friends--he then told us that he was going on a family vacation in a couple weeks and was worried about enjoying it without his cigarettes. For another--it was concern about gaining weight.The one I was most worried about relapsing was a woman in her 70's who didn't seem to have a strong desire to quit. She was in fairly good health for having smoked so long and I thought that she had an underlying belief that even though smoking had killed many in her family that she could get away with it. However, my thoughts changed when she told us that she had just attended the funeral of a friend that had died from emphysema. The decreased woman had never smoked but got it from being around secondhand smoke. These two women used to go to the casino and play bingo together. Now this participant had a new motivation because it pained her deeply to think that she might have contributed to her friend's death by smoking around her. I think as long as this motivation stay strong within her, she will be successful or she will become a closet smoker and stop smoking around other people.
Some cigarettes are easy to give up and other are more difficult and some craving just come out of the blue. but you only have to give up "one" cigarette. Make the commitment that you are willing to do whatever it takes to avoid having "just" one, because that is the only one you have to avoid and you will be successful.

Effects of Secondhand Smoke

My father passed away from bladder cancer caused by secondhand smoke. Each year over 53,000 die from exposure to secondhand smoke. 3000 are diagnosed with lung cancer caused by secondhand smoke and 50,000 from heart disease. The carbon monoxide in smoke is deadly to someone prone to heart disease.
The components of the sidestream smoke coming off the tip of the cigarette are formed at a lower temperature, since oxygen is not being pulled through it, so more cancer causing substances are created at this lower temperature. The smoke is also not being filtered by either the cigarettes filter, nor the smokers body. Compare the color of the smoke coming out a smokers mouth and the color of the smoke coming off the tip of the cigarette--you can see the difference. White vs blue. The real problem is the side stream smoke which the smoker is exposed to and everyone around them. So even if you don't smoke, don't let anyone smoke around you. Encourage your city to go smoke free in public places to protect the rights of non-smokers to breathe clean, smoke free air.

Third Hand Smoke--Another Good Reason to Stop Smoking

The only disagreement about the dangers of secondhand smoke, come from the tobacco companies. Now a study in Australia shows that even when parents smoke outside, they carry nicotine and smoke particles attached to their clothes and hair and will continue to exhale components of smoke when returning indoors. The children that live with these smokers were three times more more likely to have asthma than children that lived in homes where neither parent smoked. the best way to protect your children is to Stop Smoking period.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23908387-29277,00.html