How to Make a Plan to Quit Smoking

Imagine you are at your doctors office and he just told you that you have to stop driving a car. It's bad for your health and if you continue you risk disability and/or death. You must stop today!

Did you just go into a total panic? You might be thinking, "But how am I going to get home from here? How to I go to work tomorrow? Or take the kids to soccer practice? Or go grocery shopping?

The thought of never being able to drive again might just cause you to rebel, go into denial and ignore your doctors advice. You might tell yourself, "It's too hard. I've been driving for too long to change. I might be one of the lucky ones. Bad things happen to other drivers but not to me."

But if you had six months to make a plan on how to use other forms of transportation, you could do it. You might get a bus schedule and map out the routes to work, the grocery store and the mall. You might ask coworkers if you can car pool with them and a neighbor if you can tag along to the grocery store.

You discover there is a wide variety of modes of transportation and you have options: planes, trains, buses, bicycles, skates, unicycles, skateboards, walking, motorcycles, scooter, boats, ships, canoes, rick-shaws, tuk-tuks, horseback, helicopters, cable cars, tramways, funiculars, sailboats, yachts, elevators, ski-lifts, escalators, chauffeured limousine and even a spaceship.

Not all of these options may apply to your particular situation but you do have options. You might need a different option for every time you used to drive a car but by getting creative it can be done; and what works for someone else might not work for you. It might not be easy but not impossible.

Quitting smoking is exactly the same. If you had to quit today, what would you do? Would you go into a panic because you don't have a plan on how to have your cup of coffee without a cigarette? Or what to do at break-time? You might need a different idea for every one of your cigarettes.

Here is an except from my book, "How to Win at Quitting Smoking" which you can get a free copy just by signing up for my blog. This is how to break your smoking habit BEFORE you quit:

Activity: Make a smoking corner, away from all household activities, -- someplace you do not normally go and only smoke there. It could be the side of the house, by the garbage cans or in a corner of the garage. Don’t make it someplace you enjoy going to, but someplace you do not like and do not spend time there.

Even if you already smoke outside, like on the patio or porch, find someplace new. After you quit smoking, you want to be able to go to this place without it triggering a craving to smoke. Change the place where you used to smoke to a new relaxation corner where no smoking is allowed. Practice your relaxation techniques there and/or use this area to work on your Action Plan.

Smoke by the clock. Do not smoke whenever you want to but instead let the clock dictate when you smoke. Choose a time schedule so you smoke often enough to not have strong withdrawals or cravings. Smoking a pack a day is one cigarette every hour; 10 cigarettes a day is every two hours; two packs a day is every half hour. If you do not feel the need to smoke when it is your time to smoke, you don’t have to, but you can’t have another cigarette until it is your next time to smoke.

Do not try to cut down -- the purpose is to learn new behaviors while your brain is still calmed by smoking and to break your old associations.

When it is your “time” to smoke, go to your smoking corner, stand (unless you have a physical challenge) and smoke. In your smoking corner, do not do anything else except smoke. Do not take your coffee with you. Do not take your cell phone. Do not listen to your iPod. Do not leave a window open and watch TV. Do not talk to others. The purpose is not to multi-task when you smoke but to give yourself time to be conscious of what you are doing. By separating your smoking behavior from your other behaviors, you are “breaking your habit”.

After you have smoked a cigarette, go back into the house and go about your normal activities. Have a cup of coffee or watch television. See how it feels to be doing this activity without smoking. It might feel weird but that is normal. Remind yourself that this strange feeling is just a thought about smoking and not a physical craving.

Stop Smoking in your car. If you are driving when it is your “time” to smoke, pull over to a safe area and get out of your car to smoke.

Do not smoke with other people. If your work place has a designated smoking area, do not go there to socialize with your fellow smokers, but only go there at your time to smoke; do not get distracted by talking to other smokers. Leave as soon as the butt is put out. 

For more good ideas to break your habit sign up for my blog in the right hand column and receive a FREE copy of "How to Win at Quitting Smoking".

Why is it so hard to quit smoking?

Becoming smoke free can be one of the hardest changes one makes in their life, but why is it so hard?

For true change to happen it is only possible when the desire to become smoke-free is stronger than the desire to continue smoking and when the smoker has the tools, skills and self-knowledge, that build self-confidence, to take effective action.

Every former smoker will tell nobody quits until they really want to quit, until then it's a struggle. Yet 70% of smokers will say they "want to quit" but in reality, what they want is to continue getting their perceived benefits from smoking (stress relief, enjoyment) and want to avoid the negative consequences (cancer ete.). They want their cake and want to eat it too--but you can't have both. The popularity of the e-cig is that this is the promise they are making. The only problem is they can't back up their promise because no one knows the long term health effects from using the e-cig. To build desire the "WHY: of becoming smoke-free is most important.

When the benefits from smoking are compared with the negatives of trying to quitting, the cigarettes win out but when becoming smoke-free is MORE important than continuing to smoke, the method will appear because the smoker will seek out the tools, skills and self-knowledge that are needed to go through the process of changing to a life of being smoke-free. 

After having a strong "why", the next part is the "how-to" part. Often smoking is considered part of our "self-care" especially when dealing with stress, fear, anxiety. When everything is falling apart, our "friends" are still there to offer comfort. Smoking is a low-effort coping strategy and if like most smokers you have started as a teen--you haven't developed other effective coping strategies because smoking has always been there and has worked. Part of the struggle is to develop other "self-care" techniques but often they require more effort than just lighting up. This differs for every smoker and the tools, skills and self- knowledge.

Allan Carr's book, "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" is great for motivation because he takes every argument used to continue smoking and rips it apart. He works on the WHY to quit, but not the HOW to quit. In over 20 years of working with smokers, as soon as the WHY to quit is stronger than the desire to continue to smoke, the rest is just gaining the tools, skills and self-knowledge.  This builds confidence and when a smoker feels they have the ability to succeed, they will take effective action. 

Effective action means having a plan in place to deal with the many different aspects of smoking and not relying on just one method to quit. Some smokers are more physically addicted than others and may need medicinal therapy. Habit cigarettes require behavior modification, stress cigarettes require effective stress management. 

As a Tobacco Treatment Specialist, my job is to help a smoker develop the desire, figure out what tools, and skills are needed through self-knowledge and how to develop an effective action plan. 

How do I stop cigarette smoking when my spouse refuses to give up using tobacco in the dwelling?

How do I stop cigarette smoking when my spouse refuses to give up using tobacco in 
the dwelling?

It certainly can be difficult to quit smoking when temptation is all around you  but it is possible. Until  now both of you have been able to smoke in the house and by asking your partner to change the rules of the house, could cause resentment. Your spouse has been happy with being able to smoke anywhere and now because you want to change your behavior, you're asking your partner to change as well. 

Change is hard even when you want to change but if someone else is demanding you change, resistant builds up. 

So the first step is how you approach your mate with your request for help. Clarify your reasons for wanting to be smoke-free. Is it for your health, for the health of your children, to save money? Once you have clarified why it is so important to you, then ask your spouse for their help in achieving your goal: 

"It's really important for me to quit smoking because.....(name your most important reasons).....and I need your help. I'm not asking you to quit smoking but I'm asking if you can help me quit. I am really tempted to smoke when you smoke around me, so I'm asking if you will help me by...... "

Then negotiate. Will your partner:

1. Not leave their cigarettes and ashtray around  the house?

2. Not smoke around you?

3. Only smoke in one room of the house?

If your partner refuses to change their smoking behavior in any way, you then must change the way you response. 

1. Leave the room when your spouse lights up. 

2. Resolve to not smoke even though temptation is sitting next to you but making your reason to become smoke-free, more important than the temporary benefit of lighting up. 

Will this be easy?--NO! But it can be done. Work with a Tobacco Treatment Specialist to develop a plan that includes avoiding temptation in your home. This may include combination medications to lessen your cravings and withdrawals and cognitive-behavioral therapy to change your reactions to being around a smoker. 

A more important question to ask yourself is-- why is your spouse not supporting you in something that is really important to you and may even want to sabotage you? Are there other areas in your life where your spouse is also not supporting you? This resistant to help you achieve your goal maybe an indication of a deeper problem within your relationship and counseling, either together or you alone may be needed to resolve this issue. 

What works and what doesn't work?

I'm approached all the time to sell products that claim to help a smoker quit. One company claimed that cravings would vanish by smelling a cinnamon scented wand. In a very unscientific experiment, I gave them out to all of the participants in one of my workshops. One third said that the wands did remove the craving, one third said the wands did nothing and one third said smelling the wand caused an increase in cravings. Another man swore that when he rubbed a Peruvian amulet, his cravings went away.
I firmly believe that regardless of how outlandish a quitting method seems, that every method will work for some, but no method works for everyone. Some products will work because of the placebo effect, which if the user believes strongly that a method will work for them, then with the power of their own mind, they will be successful. So when a client will ask about any alternative method used for quitting, I have to admit that I am biased. I've been facilitating cessation classes for 19 years and I often hear, "This class is my last resort--I've tried everything and nothing works." (which includes acupuncture, & hypnosis). The individuals that attend my classes are the ones that have tried all the other methods and products and found they didn't work.

So what does work? Smokers are like individual snowflakes, each connected to their cigarettes in various ways. So instead of endorsing any particular product or method, I encourage smokers examine how they relate to their cigarettes. When do they smoke? What habits are associated with smoking? What physical effects do they feel when quitting? By looking at how they are connected to their cigarettes, will tell them what aspect they need to work on to be successful and often it is not just one aspect but many.

Rather than spending money for products claiming to be a magic wand to quit but probably won't work, except to line the manufacturer's pocket with the smoker's money, practice changing one aspect of smoking. Break one habit, such as not smoking in the car anymore, only smoking outside. Practice going outside for a smoke break with your friends but don't smoke. Talk to your doctor about different medications, it may take trial and error to find a combination that works for the individual.

Have an Emergency Plan to Avoid Relapsing Back into Smoking

There have been two recent plane crashes in the news. One ended with the survival of all the passengers and crew, the other in tragedy with all aboard lost. In a crisis situation, the pilot has only a few precious minutes to make life or death decisions. Pilots spend hours training for a crisis, hoping they will never have to use this training. In the two plane crashes, one pilot put his emergency plan into action and the other pilot supposedly had put the plane on automatic pilot.
Relapse is a plane crash. The question is, "Do you have an emergency plan or will you rely on your automatic pilot?" Your answer will tell you whether you will continue as a non-smoker or will relapse back into full time smoking.
An emergency plans starts with identifying early warning signs--thoughts, feelings, actions and high risk situations that might lead to having a cigarette.

"One won't hurt."
"Nobody's going to know if I just have one."
"It's the only way to relieve my stress."

All of these thoughts are early warning signs of a relapse and your emergency plan needs to go into action. If you rely on your automatic pilot--your brain--your conditioning is that for 10-20-30-40 years (how ever many years you have smoked), your brain says--light one up.
Instead, you need an emergency plan to avoid that conditioning. How can you change your thinking or what can you do differently? Do you have high risk friends? Practice telling them "No" when they offer you a cigarette. Take time to create an emergency plan and practice, practice, practice so that you can put your plan into action to avoid a crash landing back into smoking.

Why Can Some Smokers Just Quit?

Some ex-smokers will say that one day they just decided to quit and they did, walked away from their cigarettes and never had another puff. It's like a light switch being turned on, going from not wanting to quit smoking to becoming a former smoker. For some smokers when that light switch turns on, they are more likely to stay quit than if they decide to delay quitting by making a plan, they do just walk away from their cigarettes. So how can this help someone who is struggling to quit?

There are several components to turning on the light switch to quit: beliefs, past experiences and current environmental situations. Often it is the unconscious motivations and beliefs that are brought to light by something going on currently in the life of the smoker that tips the balance and flips the switch. So instead of struggling to quit, a smoker can focus on these components and make them a strong force in their life and one day, the light switch may just flip on for them too.

Beliefs: Often smokers will focus on what they can't or are unwilling to do instead of what they can do. Smokers need to have the confidence or belief that they can be successful at quitting and there are 3 ways to increase that confidence level:

1. Take an baby action step with something that you are willing and able to do. You don't need to make the giant leap to quitting, but start with something simple that you have no resistance to such as reading different quitting tips but with no expectation of implementing anything. Or starting to smoke only outside instead of inside your home or car. Leaving your pack in the other room instead of next to you. What are you willing to do? Now do it.
2. Watch ex-smokers-what did they do when they quit? Most will be more than willing to share how they quit. Find someone that you admire, and ask them questions, sometimes this won't be a close friend because often former smokers will keep you at a distance because you smoke, even if they don't say anything to you.
3. Listen to encouraging words from a trusted person. Unfortunately, most smokers don't get words of encouragement, they are nagged, shamed and blamed for their smoking. Find someone who will tell you that you can be successful when you're ready and tell those who nag you that they are only increasing the urge to smoke, if only in defiance. If you can't think of anyone, then call one of the free state-sponsored quit-lines that have trained professionals that will encourage you.

Past Experiences: A powerful tool is to write a goodbye letter to your cigarettes, telling them what they have meant to you, how they have helped you in certain situations, what they have contributed to your life and how they have harmed you.

Current environment situations: For many, the economy is a major issue, think how much money you would save by quitting. Different cities and states are regulating where a person can smoke, how is this impacting you? Some employers are going smoke-free, how does this affect you? Ask your doctor to explain in detail what smoking is doing to your body and how will your body improve if you quit? What else is happening in your world that affects you and how does this relate to your smoking?

By taking even small steps in looking at your relationship to your cigarettes, will help build that state of mind that ultimately will lead to success. Believe in progress, not perfection and the day will come when the light turns on for you too.

How Do You "Stick To It" When the Going Get Tough When Quitting Smoking?

Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things that many individuals will do in their lifetime. Why do some people seem to have what it takes to stop smoking and not relapse? Or the opposite side of the same coin, why do some smokers relapse? What is it the makes one quitter successful and the other slip comfortably back to smoking?
When your reason(s) for wanting to be a non-smoker are more important to you than your reasons why you enjoy smoking, and you are be able to say, "I'll willing to do whatever it takes to quit." At that moment, your bond to nicotine is broken, then it's just figuring out what it takes to modify some behaviors and learning new coping strategies. It's the change in attitude from, "I don't want to quit." to "I'd like to quit but...." to finally, "I want (fill in the blank.....) and to me, that is more important than a cigarette, so I will do what eve it takes to figure out how to avoid, not all cigarettes but that first one that will lead to all the rest. How do you stop from having a cigarette in each moment, not forever but each moment. When the thought of smoking occurs, do you romance it and continue the fantasy that you can smoke without consequences? Or do you change the way you think about smoking and make the decision to change your behavior, that you don't have to automatically give in to a craving or a wanting for a cigarette but you can choose to do something else becuase whatever it is that you really want (ie.. good health, more money, better role model for children...) is important enough to figure out a way to avoid that first cigarette. Rmember you're a puff away from a pack a day.

Preparation for a Successful New Years Resolution to Quit Smoking

The Great American Smokeout sponsored by the American Cancer Society is next month where smokers are encouraged to quit for just one day, with the idea that the smoker might continue for another day and another day. As a spokesperson for tobacco issues for the local office, I'm often asked by reporters to give smokers one bit of advice to be successful at quitting. I believe that if the smoker focuses on building motivation, having the desire and wanting to quit, is the key factor towards a smoker being successful or not, regardless of which method they choose. Every method will work for some, no method works for everyone. The trick is finding the right combination of behavior modification, medicinal support and successful coping strategies for stress and emotions for each individual smoker. So to be successful doesn't apply to the method of quitting as much as the attitude and motivation of the quitter.
I've always thought that the Thursday before Thanksgiving was a terrible day to ask someone to quit smoking. Holidays are often stressful times in many families. There are additional social activities and the hustle-bustle of all that the holidays entail. I propose that for this year for the Great American Smokeout, that you start building your plan to be successful at quitting smoking for a New Years Resolution. This gives you 6 weeks of preparation, to figure out some methods that will work for you and a chance to practice and fine turn before actually putting them down and walking away.