Monday, October 8, 2012

How do I stop cigarette smoking when my spouse refuses to give up using tobacco in the dwelling?

How do I stop cigarette smoking when my spouse refuses to give up using tobacco in 
the dwelling?

It certainly can be difficult to quit smoking when temptation is all around you  but it is possible. Until  now both of you have been able to smoke in the house and by asking your partner to change the rules of the house, could cause resentment. Your spouse has been happy with being able to smoke anywhere and now because you want to change your behavior, you're asking your partner to change as well. 

Change is hard even when you want to change but if someone else is demanding you change, resistant builds up. 

So the first step is how you approach your mate with your request for help. Clarify your reasons for wanting to be smoke-free. Is it for your health, for the health of your children, to save money? Once you have clarified why it is so important to you, then ask your spouse for their help in achieving your goal: 
"It's really important for me to quit smoking because.....(name your most important reasons).....and I need your help. I'm not asking you to quit smoking but I'm asking if you can help me quit. I am really tempted to smoke when you smoke around me, so I'm asking if you will help me by...... "

Then negotiate. Will your partner:

1. Not leave their cigarettes and ashtray around  the house?
2. Not smoke around you?
3. Only smoke in one room of the house?

If your partner refuses to change their smoking behavior in any way, you then must change the way you response

1. Leave the room when your spouse lights up. 
2. Resolve to not smoke even though temptation is sitting next to you but making your reason to become smoke-free, more important than the temporary benefit of lighting up. 

Will this be easy?--NO! But it can be done. Work with a Tobacco Treatment Specialist to develop a plan that includes avoiding temptation in your home. This may include combination medications to lessen your cravings and withdrawals and cognitive-behavioral therapy to change your reactions to being around a smoker. 

A more important question to ask yourself is-- why is your spouse not supporting you in something that is really important to you and may even want to sabotage you? Are there other areas in your life where your spouse is also not supporting you? This resistant to help you achieve your goal maybe an indication of a deeper problem within your relationship and counseling, either together or you alone may be needed to resolve this issue. 


quit smoking said...

In this situation you have to be strong and stick to your decision to stay away from cigarette.Try explaining your problem to your partner.

GED ONLINE said...

My daughter, who started smoking by sneaking around and picking up her dad’s butts when she was just a teenager, quit smoking using Chantix after she saw her own daughter doing what she used to do! Now, at age 47, she is a healthy and happy non-smoker!

Annie said...

Without doubt its easier to quit when we have friends and family supporting us. They often make the difference between success and failure. Best of luck. Stick with it.