Thursday, September 11, 2008

Getting the Right Kind of Support When Quitting Smoking

You've quit smoking for a couple of days and it's been a struggle but so far you've been able to resist temptation. A well meaning friend asks how you are doing? You explain your struggles and instead of getting encouragement that while it is hard that you can do it, the comments you get --feel like judgement, blaming and shaming. Friends who have never smoked just don't get it and former smokers think that if they can quit, anybody can quit. Often these well meaning friends just don't know what to say and they say the wrong thing or even worse tell you that you'll never be successful or that you too grumpy anyway so why don't you just go have a cigarette
Feeling judged or being shamed or blamed can lead us right back to our friend who never judged, shamed or blamed us--cigarette. So if this has happened to you, don't discuss your smoking struggles with them anymore, tell them that their comments feel like judgements or tell them exactly what you want to hear. The right kind of support can encourage and strengthen our resolve instead of weakening us.
Sabotage can come from many places and we need to protect ourselves even from well meaning friends. Find a support person that give you the kind of support that feels good, that doesn't blame or shame but offers encouragement that no matter where you are and what you have done that tomorrow is another day and you can be successful. Believe in progress not perfection.

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